31 Days of Standing Firm

Stand Firm: The Elephant in the Room

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Up until this point I’ve been using scripture to explain what it means to stand firm and now I feel I can provide a practical example (and even an opportunity for me to live it out)

We’ve looked at “standing firm” in a variety of ways and areas:

  • prayer (not giving up and remaining fervent in prayer)
  • faith (standing firm in our faith in Jesus Christ)
  • standing firm in our walk with the Lord (striving to live Holy)
  • and several other ways

These are all great things, but what do we do when we know we need to stand firm, but are unsure of what to stand firm in?

We’ve talked about choosing to stand firm, and remain strong and steadfast.

Choosing to stand firm is one thing, but how do we navigate this in terms of making a decision?

I know many of you know my personal and family history, and recall that I have written about my father and his battle with substance abuse at length in the past. I want to tell you that just because I haven’t mentioned my pain surrounding that issue in a while doesn’t mean that it’s not there.

The absence of mentioning pain is not the absence of feeling pain.

It’s like elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about, yet it’s right there. The elephant never moves, it just gets bigger and more obnoxious and starts to take over.

Not only is the elephant a distraction, but also an obstacle and a hurdle.

How hard it is to love someone with an addiction. There is no doubt that I stand firm in love for my father (even as my heart breaks for him and the decisions he’s made)

But I also stand firm in love for my daughter, to protect her as much as I can from the evils of the world, especially addiction.

Which is greater, or which should be greater, the love for my father as his daughter, or the love for my daughter as her mother?

Do I chose and what do I choose? What is the right answer? Can I do both, or do I need to pick one over the other?

Right now it feel likes on one hand if I extend love and grace to my father, it could be the very thing to give him hope to live.

Yet, on the other hand, I have a strong desire to shelter my child from what addiction does to a person and do not want her seeing my father (or anybody) in that state.

How do I stand firm in love and uphold my godly ways as both a mother and a daughter?

Let’s go straight to the bible for this:

As a daughter:

12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12

As a mother:

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Deuteronomy 4:9

Start children off on the way they should go,
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

After reviewing verses that explain both sides, the next thing is to write out what that looks like in everyday life.

As a daughter, what does honoring my father and mother look like?

As a mother, what does “teaching my daughter what I have seen” look like? What does “starting her off in the way she should go” look like?

Also take note of what is motivating you in either direction, is it out of fear or is it out of love?

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18

And sometimes the answer is not going to come right away. Sometimes we need to spend time with the Holy Spirit, asking Him to speak to us and reveal what we should do, or what it looks like in a practical sense.

While I am no closer to an answer in my personal example, I am completely at peace with the steps to take when dealing with such a dilemma:

Go to God- pour out your heart to him and the issue you are facing.

Go to your bible- as you read what the bible has to say about the topic, you will gain additionally clarity and insight. God will use His word to speak to your heart an give you both direction and peace of how to live this out.

So going back to the original question,  how to make the right decision to stand firm in:

Consult both your maker and His manual. From there He will lead you to where to stand firm. 

Thanks for letting me pout out my heart today, friends! I know what I need to sit before the Lord with now and will wait on His answer and trust His timing, going back to what scripture says! (I promise to be back to the regularly scheduled posts tomorrow!)


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