Fruit of Faithfulness Series: Day 15
But this point in the #write31days challenge, I think it is safe to say that we are building a repertoire and it’s ok if I continue to be honest with you.
Today I feel overwhelmed and lonely. I feel like no matter what I do it isn’t good enough. Last night I said some things to my husband that was my projection of my thoughts about myself onto him.
Have you ever done that? Put words in someone else’s mouth about how they felt about something only to realize it is really how you feel about it.
And because I know you get me, I’m going to tell you what was said.
I accused him of not loving me the way I am right now. I accused him of always trying to change me or make me prove my value and my worth to him.
Then it dawned on me that this is not how my husband sees me, this is how I see me.
I am still uncomfortable in my own skin, still trying to accept myself where I am right now and not beat myself up for where I think I should be.
In my mind my value is on who I am becoming and not on who I am right now. But my value is in who I right now.
Our value is not in who we are becoming, but in who we are.
So today I’m going to do something a little different and write a prayer to our heavenly Father. (I promise to tie in faithfulness in there somewhere)
Thank you for your unfailing love and faithfulness. Thank you for loving me even when I don’t love myself. Thank you for not judging me the way I judge myself, but showering me with your endless mercy and grace.
I love that you love me and that you will never leave me or forsake me. Thank you for being right there when I need to pick up the pieces.
As tough it is to admit, thank you for showing me the true condition of my heart. I am tired and I am overwhelmed and I am seemingly alone on an island that no one understands.
I know that you understand Lord, you see me and you love me just where I am at right now. I don’t need to lose weight or grow my business in order for you to accept me.
I ask in Jesus’ name that you give me your eyes to see me. I want to see myself as you see me ,with love and kindness, gentleness and faithfulness. I pray for my eyes to be opened wide with your truth of I am good enough just as I am.
As I read these verses, I pray you allow me to not only know it in my mind, but know it and feel it deep down in my soul:
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14
I pray that I live from this place of love and truth and that I know I am meant to be right where I am, doing and feeling exactly as I do.
I want to love and accept myself the way you love and accept me. Lord please give me a heart of compassion and love for myself.
I pray that I live in the faithfulness you have shown me, and that I do not forget your tender mercies.
In Jesus name I pray, asking to feel what you feel when you think of me to accept myself as I am.
Let love and faithfulness never leave you, bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.
Today’s challenge is to live from a place of love and faithfulness. Make every choice and express every attitude from love and faithfulness to God, yourself and others.
Bind them around your neck, and write them upon the tablet of your heart.