Tuesday was a rough day for me for a few different reasons. I went to the gym before class and struggled through a kickboxing class and then rushed home for class. Needless to say I was not feeling 100% and it was written all over my face.
While I did not participate alot in class, I did take several pages of notes this week. One of the first stories our trainer told us included self- disclosure about noticing the points of resistance as we learn the skills and also how coaching shifts our temperament. I appreciated this story, as I have noticed how I take on a new “persona” when I am coaching. Essentially I become more quiet and reflective and fully engaged in the moment. As part of my coaching goal this week I am working on speaking concisely and “packing a punch” with direct stories and responses.
The two main topics for class this week were Accountability and Teachable Moments. For accountability, we are to act a a stand in for God and take the role to partner with the person as they embark on their journey. I have had accountability for several things in my life and I can speak firsthand of the “partner” approach working better than the “parent” approach.
Teachable and coachable moments start with a specific experience. In that experience we are often highly emotional and conscious of what is going on around us. We talked about how the self help industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and while people pour their money into these things looking for a quick fix, the answer to have an “Aha moment” that can initiate change revolves around people and experiences.
While I did mention that I did not participate that much in class, I did share a story that happened a week ago and fit the definition of this type of moment. Interestingly, I did feel that after this moment happened and this break through occurred that this would be the perfect thing to share in class. I became grateful for having this intense moment and know it came directly from God.
So I shared my story, the same story that I shared a few posts ago about the connection from the past and present that I made. In diving deeper, we learned that the type of questions we ask can catalyze these types of moments. As coaches we need to be observant and intuitive, noting when the client may be struggling with something that they might want to discuss further. I would liken it to slowly adding small sticks to the fire, when you add small sticks of wood the fire tends to get bigger and bigger until something explosive happens. This actually reminds me of a verse we talked about in terms of a quarrelsome person adding to chaos, but I believe the same general principle can be applied here.
As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife. Proverbs 26:21
“When we learn a lesson we pay for it with our life.” This is so true. We go through trials and tribulations in life because ultimately it makes us grow as an individual, we can’t just give contrite advice to someone and expect them to take it; instead we need to feel it and experience it for ourselves. Our lessons are guided by the holy spirit which gives us our own unique perspective. Our perspective coupled with insightful and thought provoking questions is what creates the coachable moment.
The types of questions to ask simply are to stay curious and dig more into what is happening and what has happened. We can ask all of the questions we want, but we know that God is the one who prepares these type of moments.
Taking all of this into consideration, along with my words to my peer partner last weekend about the need to share my story is greater than the need to stay guarded, it is no surprise that the God initiated moment I experienced and shared left one of my classmates thinking.
“Thank you for sharing that really helps me understand some things in my own life.”
You never know who needs to hear your story. You never know what type of impact your story can have until you tell it. This gives me chills just reading it. God is great and he is using me to help others. This is my purpose. Not one choice of another (church ministry volunteer opportunity or life coaching) but both. Both share the same ideas while being different. Both opportunities will help me grow and allow others to grow. Both combine my passions. This is my heart and and I am grateful for the situations and circumstances God has placed me in that have lead me to this point.
Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21